January 24, 2006
With a very heavy heart
...we let Kanga go tonight.
As we mentioned, she'd lost an alarming amount of weight, but because she ate so well and seemed normal otherwise, we wrote that off to her age.
Last night, she stayed out with me quite a long time...she ate her macaroni and cheese while sitting on my lap, then she climbed on my shoulder and snuggled under my hair while I worked. I actually had trouble getting her back in the cage when it was time for me to go to bed...she kept crawling back up my arm.
Today when I came home from work, though, she was disoriented and off-balance. She tumbled down the cage ramp, and when I picked her up, she bit into my finger and wouldn't let go. I finally got her off and back in the cage, where she had a seizure.
I called Victor and explained...as hard as it was for him not to say goodbye, we felt it wasn't right to make her suffer the extra couple of hours.
I lost it at the vet...when I started explaining the weight loss, I equated that with her seizures and disorientation, and I started sobbing that I should have brought her in, that I'd failed her. Dr. G hugged me and reassured me that we'd done nothing wrong.
We expect that she had a stroke or another neurological problem, perhaps a tumor (though tumors usually come on more slowly, with a progressive loss of coordination...I can say that last night, she was as spry as ever climbing on me.)
This is never easy, but it was so unexpected it makes it harder.
Poor little Kanga.
The last picture I took of her was a few days ago in the basket with her gang. Before that, I took a few of her eating the decorations from my birthday cake:
I'd been afraid to post them because she looked so skinny I was afraid people would think we neglected her. I think you guys know how beautiful she was, though.
Posted by Abita at January 24, 2006 08:23 PMOh, Abita, I'm so sorry, but don't be so hard on yourself. She looks quite well in these pics (you're just so used to very 'fat' ratties!) and she seems very enthusiastic about what she is eating. When your baby enjoys eating, that's a good thing and you like to let them enjoy their life as much and as long as possible. Last night I bet she had a 6th sense and she wanted to love you. She's with Misto and the rest now and completely happy. She's probably eating something right now. God bless all of you.
Posted by: Eanna at January 24, 2006 09:06 PMMy heart grieves with you on the loss of little Kanga. I'll light a candle for her tonight. I'll also send all of you healing. It's never easy to let one go, but it is the kindest, most selfless thing we can do for them when they are suffering.Please try to be gentle with yourself yourself. Things happen for a reason and in their own time. I sense that Kanga had something very wrong in hear head, possibly a tumor. In that case, no matter when you took her, there was little that could have been done for her.
Kanga is fine now, running around plump as ever. She thanks you for your final gift of love by releasing her from her pain. Try to take comfort in the good memories of your lives together!
Posted by: Arlene at January 24, 2006 10:31 PMOh, she was beautiful! I'm so sorry that you had to say good-bye to suddenly. It is so hard to lose these little friends. Remember, she is just this side of the Rainbow Bridge, happy and playing, and watching for you so that you can cross the bridge together!
Take care and take comfort in the ratties you still have here with you.
Norway
(found you through Lynn)
;_;
I'm sorry guys...Kanga was a cutie (for being all naked and pink she didnt have age spots or huge amounts of wrinklies like most older nakeys!)
She was really pretty!
Maybe she will see Duffles at the RainbowBridge..they can share cake and yogies there together for ever, sleeping, cuddling and snoozing in hamballs and box houses full of all the smelly rat pee we all know they LOVE to bathe in! They can have all the chewed up cardboard boxes covered in rat pee in the world! ^_^
Heres to a quick crossing, and a quicker recovery. Lets smile that she's happy now and celebrate her life.
Really..she was pretty for being an older nakey...all pink and fresh ^_^
Posted by: Celynny at January 25, 2006 12:28 PMWe know you take great care of your ratsies Abita and Victor. We are so sorry that Kanga had to go and cross the bridge. She loved you guys a lot. Foofs to you in your grief ~Poi Rodentia
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Kanga looks beautiful in the picts. She just isn't as floofy as the others. She looked so sweet. ~Poi Mom Jane
Posted by: Pip, Fig, Jorje, Aeowen, Narnia, Josie, Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect at January 25, 2006 07:01 PMOh Abita and Victor, I'm so sorry. You did not fail her in any way. You loved her and gave her the best life. She was gorgeous. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you- we know how much you miss her. *hugs*
Posted by: Lynn at January 26, 2006 03:46 AMI'm so sorry :(
Posted by: MagickRat at January 26, 2006 06:02 PMSleep well little girl.
Posted by: Fiona Bun at January 26, 2006 09:39 PM
I am so so sorry.
Oh no, not you too! I am so so sorry, I really am - kanga was a babe, a really gorgeous girl and I am so sorry.
Posted by: Shamisen at January 27, 2006 08:20 AMThank you all.
I've just made the rounds of the rat blogs, and it looks like the Bridge is a very busy place right now...hugs to all of you guys, too.
sorry to hear that Kanga has left you..
She had a good life with you, but it was her time to cross the rainbow bridge...
colleen
rufus and reuben