Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax

Our house is a very very very fine house

I closed on my mortgage refinance today. This is only a big deal because it turned into a nightmare for awhile last month...I was literally waking up in the middle of the night with stress-related refinance dreams...but ah, it is over.

The nightmare was of the no-good-deed-goes-unpunished variety; I used a broker because he's a friend of mine who took the commission job because he hadn't found anything else, and I used a settlement agency because another friend works there. Turned out my actual costs came in above my estimates, my loan was delayed because the lender didn't get around to approving it and I missed the good month-end closing date my friend had secured, the zip code on my appraisal was wrong and delayed it further, and the lender/broker and the settlement agency weren't exactly thrilled with each other...

But it is over. Whew. And I make my last payment in August 2033. When I bought the house about ten years ago, seeing that thirty year date kinda freaked me out, but somehow in the last decade thirty years just doesn't seem that long anymore. Maybe by then I'll have the basement refinished, or at least a new kitchen floor.

See, I hate my house. My house hates me. It isn't quite the Amityville Horror, but instead of blood dripping from the walls and flies in the dead of winter I have pinhole leaks in my copper pipe (being fixed July 28, cost $6,000). I have doors that stick and windows that won't stay open. I have an electric heat pump that heats, in the winter, to what feels like a toasty 62 degrees. I have a basement finished in black pegboard and lit by strobe fluorescent lights. I have dark walnut stained kitchen cabinets. But every time I save enough to fix the cosmetic, something functional breaks.

A logical question then is "Why did you buy it?" Well, I was renting it. The owner decided to sell. I figured it was buy it myself or get it clean enough to put on the market, and buying seemed less daunting. Plus then, ten years ago, I had enthusiasm and delusions...I'd strip and refinish the cabinets. I'd take down the pegboard and replace it with nice paneling. I did replace the roof and the heat pump (the previous one didn't even get to 62 degrees, and the electric bills were closer to $200 than the $100, $150 I deal with now). I've also replaced the hot water heater, the washer and dryer (twice on that one), the dishwasher, and the refrigerator. And I have made two improvements that actually made me happy: Pergo floor on the main level, and pvc shower surrounds in the upstairs bathrooms. Everything else still makes me cringe or cry, depending on my mood.

Another funny thing happened since I bought it: home prices here have gone through the re-shingled roof and beyond. If I were looking to buy now, even with my improved income from my 1993 life, I could not afford this neighborhood. And believe me, the only thing about this neighborhood that's gotten better in ten years is the addition of a Mexican restaurant down the street.

So I am here and here I will remain, unless the mortgage deal really was so screwed up that the wire transfer from the lender never comes (it still wasn't there when I left the settlement agency) and my old mortgage company ends up foreclosing and kicking my ass out...at which point (hahaha to them) they'll have to repanel the damn basement to get this place sold. They'll have to remodel the kitchen. And you'll be finding me in the box next to the dumpster behind the Mexican restaurant.